Family Reunion At the registration desk handing out the weekend's agenda were Uncle Cleofus and Aunt Violamae. Those two have been married for thirty-five years and still can't go ten minutes without disagreeing about something. Can you imaging what the car ride must have been like? What was surprising is that the woman looks the same after all these years. I used to be scared shitless of her. Here you have this woman who is about six feet tall, weighing a good buck ninety-nine, titties as big cantaloupes, voice deep like the guy in The Temptations, a mustache, and always wanting a hug and kiss. One time she caught me and Matt looking at a Sears catalogue. Sounds innocent, but we were looking at the women in their bras and panties while giggling. She snuck up behind us and said, in her best Yul Brenner voice, "If I catch you boys doing this again I'll rip out your lungs, fry 'em up, and give 'em to the dog!"
Her First Trip To The Barbershop Peep this--I took Josh to the barbershop for the first time. Not his first time, my first time. Ordinarily he goes with his dad once every three weeks, but he had to work and Josh's hair was wolfin', so I wound up taking him. And before you ask, no, Josh's dad and I are not together and I doubt if we ever will. We're not meant to be. At least not yet. He's a good man, good to Josh and all...but we don't click. Anyway, we went to his usual barber on 60th Street, and the first thing Josh did was give all the barbers high fives. It was embarrassing for me because I didn't know what to do. I felt out of place, insecure. One of the barbers walked over, introduced him self, and said he was the one who cuts Josh's hair. Also let me know one person was ahead of us excluding the guy in the chair. Kinda cute, too. Gave Josh a lollipop (of course he asked me first--how charming!) and a coloring book and crayons. It was five of us waiting for cuts. Would you believe this was the first time I had ever been in a barbershop? I had to case the place. It was clean, except for the hair on the floor. A football game was on the TV, and you know how men act when they're watching--like it's their reason for living. They weren't too into the game, but did acknowledge when something exciting happened. Josh cheered when they cheered--how adorable. The conversations were not what I expected.
The Funeral As the pastor delivered the eulogy, the anguish in the room began to dissipate. It was kind of weird because he spoke in this sing-songy type voice I never heard before. Difficult to understand. After every statement, the organist would play a few chords and the people would yell out, "Amen," "Yes Lord," or whatever. There was one song in particular the choir sang up-beat. Jammin'. You'd a thought you were at the Convention Center listening to an R&B concert. Folks were dancing and singing in their seats and in the aisles. Took a quick look over to my left and could have sworn I saw a man dancing like Michael Jackson. The woman sitting next to me was speaking in a language I never heard before. Scared me. Kinda sounded Italian. Had no idea what they were saying. ... When it was time for the casket to be closed, all hell broke loose. Wow! What a trip. Sister's yelling, "No, no. Don't close it!" Jumps out her seat, crawls into the casket, didn't want to let go of the body. The men had to drag her off.
Suicide Note By the time you read this letter I will be in a far greater place than where I was. I will no longer have physical pain and mental frustrations, nor want for anything. For the Lord is my shepherd, and I shall not want. Do not feel sorry for me. I have led a good and fulfilling life. I was undeniably a good father, grandfather, and husband, and would not want any of you to think I committed suicide because of regrets. Life is the most precious gift God can give us, and how we live our lives is our gift to God.